The art of asking the right question

In the middle of trying to walk through a difficult situation I asked a wise friend how you give someone advice when you can clearly see the solution but they don't. He gave me the a great answer:

Often times the best thing to do is ask a slew of questions and allow the person to come to their own conclusion. People don't need your solution, but need to come to it on their own terms.

I was struck by it's simplicity. I admit I'm not very good at asking those cutting questions. I have friends that are. In the midst of all the haze they can ask a question that cuts to the point. I hope I get there someday. Even today in the middle of another tough conversation I was asking myself what is the question that needs to be asked here? I don't know if I found it, but I tried.

It reminds of a great book I read by Parker Palmer, Let Your Life Speak. In it he describes a Quaker tradition called a "Clearness Committee." During this process a group of friends essentially ask you questions about a particular decision, or a certain circumstance. I've always loved the idea. Jesus rarely answers a question directly, he usually answers with another question. I wonder how much better our relationships, our advice, our churches, our teams would be if we could simply learn the art of asking the right question.